To Oh-Oh-Seven


 

The leg’s in the smoker and the Juice is on ice
Gore rests on laurels at Vick’s dog fights
Goodbye Fredo, fade-out Sopranos
Pootie YouTube nappy-headed hos
Bubble bursts, bridge falls down
Six entombed underground
Surges, purges, foot-tapping urges
Castro’s not dead, but Ladybird is
Helmsley’s pooch, Gere’s smooch
Lindsay’s hooch, Britney’s cooch
Blackwater wildfire Dick’s cousin Obama
They don’t have maps! Hey, remember Osama?
Hillary, Rudy, Mitt, and Fred
Tainted toothpaste, toys with lead
Pet food cavemen quagmire in Iraq
Shit meet fan: Turks attack
Phony soldiers man-sized safes
Leave her alone! Scooter’s walk chafes
Monks riot, lawyers in tear gas mist
General Betray Us, Bonds’ asterisk
Bernanke iPhone Iran bombing any day
Don’t tase me bro! I’ve never been gay.
None too soon this year will be through
We’re kicking ass whoop-dee-damn-doo.

 


[a cookie to anybody who identifies the six quotations, without Googling]

 

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